On (and at) the Market

Look out world. Guess who is back on the market? That’s right. I am single again. Let me tell you, the only thing worse than being 30 and single is being 30 and in the wrong relationship. It has been just over a month but I am determined to avoid the online dating path, so I am going strictly with reputable set-ups for as long as I can. Know anyone? Send them my way. I only have three requirements.

1. Impeccable dental hygiene

2. Must hate cats

3. Must hate people that like cats.

He’s out there somewhere. I know it. He is likely flossing at this very minute.


I have been meaning to visit Plum Market since it opened a few months ago but I finally made my debut appearance this Sunday. As you might imagine, there was a thunderous applause when I entered the produce section.


As a person who grew up in the Detroit suburbs, I was excited that the market from Michigan had finally arrived in Chicago. Below are my notes.


-Immaculately clean. I would readily eat dinner off the Plum Market floor, without any fear of attaining hepatitis.

-I want to clear the store’s inventory. The wine selection, bakery with goods from Zingerman’s and salad bar crafted by a person with OCD, all make me want to curl up in a sleeping bag near the artisan cheeses.


-It is a monopoly. There is really no other market like Plum in Chicago. It seems that it has taken the best elements of Whole Foods, Mariano’s and local co-ops and made it its own entity.

-There is an attached parking structure that is free for up to two hours. I don’t have a car, but I parked my unicycle in one of the reserved spots.

Con, singular

-Holy sticker shock. The prices are insane. I am normally not one who notices prices, but a six-pack of soda for nine dollars? There better be Veuve somewhere in those cans.

Though there is only one con, it is certainly a major one and until I get my Christmas bonus (Jelly of the Month Club), you can find me in the aisles at Trader Joe’s. I’ll save Plum Market for special occasions only.